#i always feel like i need to justify things

[credulousmooncake]

do you believe in fate? destiny? what in arabic they call "maktub"? it literally means 'it is written'. i didn't believe in magical things to be real, but i do now. i really do now. it's been so bittersweet but i believe that the universe conspired to let me find you and love you. you watched me leave, I'm sorry. i swear it'll get better. i care, and i always will. i didn't want to leave, but i didn't want you to feel as alone as me. i didn't want your fantastical ideas of love to be scrubbed away with my realistic possibilities of in how many different ways it could go wrong. i wish to be a dreamer like you, how everything will fit into place as if the universe conspired for it. i believe in our love, but staying wouldn't have helped either of us. i won't say this to you lightly, I've been self absorbed and dragging you along my rollercoaster. i was afraid of the rollercoaster and ran away at the sight of it until i realised I'm the rollercoaster. i don't want to be. i want to be better. i want to be the boulevard of sweet-smelling flowers that reminds you of every time you've been truly happy, where you walk across and it feels like a warm hug from someone familiar. i don't want to be the autumn gloom, i want to be the summer sun. i want my head to stop believing that everything i touch is tainted with sadness. i need to stop fantasising that being alone is good or justify it to be healthy. i want to embrace the fact that I'm shitless scared to be alone, i can't stand it. I'm pervaded with jealousy at the thought of losing something real and someone else having it. I need to acknowledge it all. I didn't want you to accept as i am when even i don't know who i am. it would be wrong. I need to love limitless again, with my head and heart both synchronising enough to let me love rightly. I'll find you when I get there, and I can just hope that you'll, even in the slightest of the possibilities, be welcoming of it and we try again.

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

[viviwah]

CHOI SU-BONG (THANOS) - BEST FRIEND

warnings: f!reader, unprotected sex (creampie), slight oral (m receiving), smut + fluff, smau (takes place outside of the games), mentions of drugs, friends to lovers??

a/n: i’ve been seeing so many smau’s and now i’m obsessed ^^

sum: after finding out your boyfriend was nothing but an unfaithful piece of sh*t, your best friend comes over to comfort you.

You sat on your living room couch, legs crossed and mind wandering. You contemplated on whether or not you should call your boyfriend, Nam-Gyu, for the 3rd time tonight. Yeah, he worked late some nights since he was a promoter at Club Pentagon, but you had a feeling that tonight he was busy doing something other than work. You let out a deep sigh and reached for your phone, clicking on his contact, and calling him. You waited patiently and anxiously as the phone rang. It only took a few seconds before someone picked up. Your heart raced.

“Hello?”

The voice of a woman could be heard from the other side of the phone. Your brows furrowed as you pulled your phone away from your ear, double checking to see if you clicked onto the right contact and you did.

“Uh, who’s this?”

“Who are you? You’re the one who’s calling MY boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend?” you scoffed.

“I guess he’s been lying to both of us.”

“Wh-”

With a swift click, you ended the call, leaving whoever that girl was, dumbfounded. You couldn’t believe what you had just heard. Her boyfriend? Your heart sank and it felt like the world around you began to close in on you. Your breath hitched as tears started to fill your eyes, you shut them, allowing the warm, salty, tears to rush down your cheeks. You knew something was off with Nam-Gyu, especially since for the past month he’d been coming home late, not responding to your texts, and not returning any of your calls. Honestly speaking, it was gonna happen sooner or later. He was a club promoter after all, meaning that he was always surrounded by loads of half naked women and nine times out of ten, he and the women he encountered were under the influence. Being on drugs is no excuse for cheating though, you knew that and you weren’t trying to justify his actions, you just wanted to come to a conclusion.

Why would he ever cheat on you?

You’ve been nothing but good to him for the entirety of your relationship. When he needed a shoulder to cry on, you were there. When he didn’t feel seen or heard, you were there to make him feel both of those things. You weren’t able to come to a conclusion just now and you didn’t want to spend your night crying over spilled milk so you just decided to forget about it for now. You wiped away your tears with the ends of your sweatshirt and grabbed your phone again, this time to text your best friend, Su-Bong, since he always knew how to cheer you up.

You laughed to yourself before shutting your phone off. Su-Bong was a pro at making light out of the darkest situations and that’s why you loved him. You decided to freshen up a bit before he came, changing into some cozy pj’s and just as you made your way back into the living room, the sound of knocking could be heard at your front door. You made your way over to the front door and opened it, revealing your best friend, Su-Bong, who quickly made his way into your home.

“Hi, Señorita.” he flashed a smile and raised his hands that held two bags. “Got your favorites.”

“Thanks, you’re the sweetest.” you smiled to him, watching as he placed the bags onto the table in your kitchen.

“So, what happened?” he questioned, opening a bag of gummy worms and stuffing his face.

You let out a sigh before going into full detail to explain the events that took place about an hour ago.

“Wow, he’s worse than I thought.” his face that was once full of excitement, was now blank and his eyes were full of hatred.

“Tell me about it.” you scoffed as you made your way over to the couch, throwing yourself onto it.

Su-Bong followed behind you, taking a seat on the couch as well.

“I always thought he was too ugly for you anyway.” he let out a light chuckle and you quickly slapped him on the shoulder.

“What?!”, he pouted.

“That’s mean.” you rolled your eyes.

“He’s mean for cheating on you!” he argued.

It had been exactly three hours since Su-Bong came over and most of that time was spent watching movies, making jokes, and trolling your ex. You were having the time of your life with your best friend, almost forgetting that you were going through a breakup. You look over to him, watching as his eyes were glued onto the TV. Su-Bong was so effortlessly attractive and he always made you feel heard which was something that Nam-Gyu failed to do. You wondered what a relationship with him would be like.

STOP.

Why were you thinking like that about your best friend?

Were you starting to catch feelings for him? Were you just now realizing that the love of your life had been in front of your face this entire time?

“What you thinking about, Señorita?”

The sound of his voice rang throughout your ears, ripping you away from your inappropriate thoughts.

“Nothing.” you replied calmly.

“If you’re still thinking about that manwhore, I can help you take your mind off of him. Only if you’ll let me.” he spoke softly as he trailed his hand over your shoulder.

Your eyes met his and in that moment, you realized you could no longer hold back the feelings you had for him. Your arms wrapped around him and you pulled him in for a kiss and as your lips touched his, your eyes widened, and you suddenly pulled away. You realized that what you’d just done was wrong and you attempted to apologize.

“I’m s—”

Your apology was cut short as you were interrupted by Su-Bong’s lips clashing against yours. I guess the feelings you had for him were mutual. At first you were hesitant but soon, you gave in, melting underneath his touch. His hands trailed up and down your body as he kissed you passionately. The kiss that started off so innocently was quickly turned into an aggressive make out session and as the two of you shared sloppy kisses, Su-Bong began playing with the buttons of your pajama top. He pulled away from your lips before speaking.

“Can I take this off for you?”

You nodded in response and he wasted no time, immediately unbuttoning your shirt and throwing it onto your bedroom floor. He eyed your boobs, admiring them, even though they were still confined within your bra. You made your way onto his lap and began trailing your lips along his neck, leaving behind a few faint hickeys. Su-Bong’s hands trailed up your bare back and in one swift movement, he unclasped your bra, throwing it onto to floor alongside your shirt. His hands then rested on your now bare boobs, giving them a light squeeze. You let out a light moan into his ear and trailed your hands down to the waistband of his sweatpants, you pulled lightly before being stopped.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” his eyes met yours, softening as he questioned you.

“Yes, I’m sure.” you gave a light nod as you spoke.

He then slid his sweatpants and underwear off, encouraging you to do the same. You watched as his thick cock sprang up, almost touching his bellybutton. You wrapped your hand around it and then began moving your hand up and down, drawing light groans from Su-Bong.

“Fuck.” he cursed under his breath.

You smirked, fastening your movements and watching as pre-cum started to leak from the tip of his cock. Your warm tongue licked up his shaft before reaching his tip and once your tongue reached his tip, it moved swiftly, licking up all of his pre-cum. You then opened your mouth, wrapping it around the tip of his cock as you moved your head down slowly, attempting to take every inch of him down your throat. Su-Bong felt like he was in heaven, he groaned loudly as he felt your warm mouth wrap tightly around his thick cock, it was enough to make his eyes roll into the back of his head. His hands soon became tangled in your hair as he forced himself further down your throat.

“Enough of this, I want to be inside you already. Let me make you feel better than he ever did.”

Su-Bong instructed you to lay on your back so you did just that and watched as he teased your wet pussy with his fingers, running circles around your clit and sliding one finger in, just to take it out immediately. Your back arched up slightly as you moaned and he loved this, he loved seeing you so weak under his touch. After teasing you for what felt like hours, he finally slid his thick cock inside of your warm and plump pussy, stretching you out. Your lips parted immediately, forcing your moans to flow out like a waterfall. Su-Bong eyed your entire body as he began thrusting into you, slowly, before picking up the pace and thrusting into you quickly and roughly. Your moans grew louder as he thrusted into you faster by the second, resting one of his hands against your right boob and squeezing your nipple as his free hand rubbed circles around your clit, forcing your eyes to roll back into your head.

Who knew he’d be this good in bed?

“Does it feel good?” he questioned in a whisper before leaning into you and kissing onto your neck.

“Y-Yes, it feels so good.” you responded.

“Even better than the way he made you feel?” Su-Bong questioned again, still thrusting into your tight pussy roughly.

You nodded, unable to speak to due to the overwhelming pleasure.

“Let me hear you say it.” his fingers moved faster around your clit as his thrusts slowed.

“You make me feel way better than he ever did.” you admitted, locking eyes with him.

He pulled you in for a kiss and started thrusting into you deeper than he did before and a familiar feeling began to wash over you, one that you haven’t felt in a while. Your pussy gushed, tightening around Su-Bong’s cock as a tight coil began to form in your lower abdomen, signaling that your orgasm was near.

“I’m gonna cum.” you whispered, moaning lightly.

Hearing this only encouraged Su-Bong to fasten his pace and deepen his strokes, his number one priority right now was making you feel good and he was doing a damn good job. Your walls tightened around him once again and he groaned loudly as his cock began to twitch inside of you, he was close too. He tried pulling away but you stopped him.

“Cum inside of me, please.”

He nodded and thrusted into you once again, forcing that coil that had built in your lower abdomen to unravel. Your pussy tightened around him again before you coated his cock in your juices. His cock twitched one last time before pumping you full of his cum. He slid his cock out of your pussy and watched as his cum began to drip out of you slowly.

“I love you, (yourname).” he breathed out, giving you a soft smile.

“I love you more, Su-Bong.” you smiled.

[very-gay-poet]

Scapegoats:

Scapegoats are a person or a group of people that are blamed for anything bad happening in a space (a country, state, town, family, etc).

In between the first and second World War, Germany had a terrible economy, so bad that parents regularly gave their children stacks of money to play with instead of toys. Soon, Jews were to blame for the economic crisis, with the help of Hitlers campaign. He pointed out a demographic for people to blame so they don’t start blaming the government.

I also want to highlight that in 2023 alone, there were almost 10,000 reports of antisemitic incidents in the US, comparing that to just the year before, 2022, with around 3,700 reports from the US, and under 2000 reports in 2008. Over the course of just a year, the oppresion of jewish people had risen at over 100% in just a year. Antisemitism beliefs are rising again, Jewish people are being met with hostility again, and it’ll just keep on getting worse if we do nothing about it. Especially with Elon Musk's little “stim” at Trump's inauguration. I’m no conspiracy theorist but It feels like him doing the Nazi Salute, Trump signing an executive order to make it legal to discriminate against people and canceling all D.E.I programs (also mentioning that the KKK were spotted recruiting people in Kentucky) seems to be a whistle to Neo-Nazis to let them know that they’ll get away with whatever they do, and give them the confidence to be more bold than they already are.

I don’t believe that this is a coincidence, and, I really hope I’m wrong here, I don’t believe that these people (Trump, Elon) are above antisemitism, saying it’s for not promoting christian values or something stupid like that. I’ll be getting into weaponizing religion later, but I feel that this is important to mention, considering that the stats mentioned above were of 2023, God knows what that number was in 2024 and I don’t think we’ll be getting the true number anytime soon. This is all my personal speculation so take this with a bit of salt, but I find it concerning with how we’re all calling the right and Elon Nazis and Trump a Hitler reincarnate (which is justified don't get me wrong), but aren’t mentioning all the antisemitism as a result of the rise this type of bigotry. Jews were the main target of the Nazi party, don’t forget that.

So the next time you hear that the reason why people can’t get a house is because immigrants are taking them, the Chinese made COVID 19, minorities are taking jobs away because they tick a diversity box, remember who's truly to blame. The Chinese didn’t kill all the people who died during COVID, your government did, because they didn’t take COVID seriously as they should’ve, saw the consequences, and don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. They base it on preexisting stigma to magnify it, many Asian people in America were treated with more hostility than ever during COVID, because the American Government needed someone to blame, and what better than a group that aren’t white and are "commies".

It’s acceptable discrimination so that no one will turn an eye on what the government really wants to do; be discriminatory. They base it on their own prejudice so they can get away with bills and laws further normalizing the prejudice in the country, and thus get away with it. We’re already starting to see this now, with the plane crash; Trump blaming diversity and “the right people not being hired”, is the perfect cover story to take away rights of minority workers, and publish it as acceptable discrimination. Remember, not being hired because of your race (including skin colour) , religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, pregnancy, national origin, age, or disability, is illegal, unless they have an agenda to push and have an excuse to make it “the right thing to do”.

If you find yourself feeling hatred for a certain group– ask yourself: will anyone benefit from this anger? The answer is always no. No one benefits from prejudice or discrimination. No one, except the rich pigs at the top. America is already turning into a plutocracy and it hasn’t even been a year yet, so remember: if you’re not already a billionaire, you’re never gonna be a billionaire, so don’t act like you ever will. Division is their favorite game, don’t let them win it.

this is a snipit from an essay I'm writing that's taking longer than I thought it would. So now I'm going to post some snipits of it in hopes that it can help people.

[ghouljams]

I really appreciate you reblogging that post about how difficult it is to quit an addiction. I myself am currently struggling with a sugar/caffeine addiction, and I drink way too much coke cola (and if I can't get my hands on some, energy drinks). It's nice to be reminded that it's not just me who is constantly thinking about how good it would feel to have juuust a little more, even if I said I would stop. I've tried to quit it multiple times, and each failed attempt disheartens me greatly and makes me feel weak willed, even if I rationally know everyone battling an addiction has those moments.

Sugar addictions often aren't treated as seriously as the "scary" drugs or smoking, but it's just as damaging to your health and difficult to quit, especially when the human brain is hardwired to want sugary, fatty foods. I hope one day to be strong enough to resist those cravings and get my health back on track.

You can become addicted to anything that makes you feel good. People are getting addicted to AI chat bots for god's sake, it doesn't even have to be quality stuff as long as it gives you that rush of dopamine it can reel you in. Now, some things are better designed to addict you, drugs and alcohol, sugar and caffeine, but that doesn't mean you aren't still getting that good feeling. Even if you don't get it every time, even if you only get that hit the first time, humans will chase that first high for the rest of their lives. It's the reason people stay in abusive relationships, things will never be as good as they were at the start but there's this silent promise that they might be.

Anyone can become addicted to anything. And I'm not saying that to scare anyone, but more to make the point that no one is above addiction. Addiction is not a moral failing, or a weakness, it's a human survival tactic. We want the thing that makes us feel good, that keeps the loneliness at bay, that stops us from feeling bad things even if they do that by keeping us from feeling anything at all. Our brains want that dopamine shot, even when reasonably we know whatever is giving us that shot is bad for us.

Getting past an addiction is hard no matter what that addiction is. I try to tell people that they need to find something to redirect that craving towards. For one of my loved ones we're working on finding a painting class and a book club because they've realized that a lot of their relapsing comes from feeling lonely. For you, maybe having a chew fidget would help, or keeping fruit on hand, or (if you're like me) purging your house of all sugary snacks. I can't keep sugar in my house or I'll eat it, so I don't buy it. It sucks, I want it, but I know myself and I know that the best way to keep myself from doing something is to try and remove as much temptation as possible.

It's much harder for me to justify leaving my house to go get candy than it is for me to get up and get a chocolate from the pantry. Or if I really want a sweetie, I have to figure out making it myself. Which means I can try and figure out a healthier option to make. Idk it's a long road, and something like sugar/caffeine/alcohol is so ingrained in our society that it feels impossible to avoid.

I have a friend who used heroin (now clean, I'm so proud of her) and she always said the hardest part of recovery was giving a shit about herself. She said there was always going to be part of her that wanted to use, so she had to make the rest of her louder, had to find reasons to care enough not to go back to her old habits. She got a lot of tattoos during her recovery, reconnected with her mom.

Not to say that addicts don't care about themselves, or that you don't care about yourself, I always thought she meant it more in the way of a parent caring for a child. You know, you don't let kids do something just because they want to because you care about keeping them safe. In the same way you sort of have to parent yourself. Say you've got sugar at home even though you don't, promise you'll make yourself donuts and then quit as soon as you get home because you don't want to boil oil. Learn to make croissants and then never make them again because they're such a fucking hassle. idk

You're not weak because you have trouble telling yourself no, people generally have trouble with that. You're just a person trying to listen to your body. It's just too bad your body isn't always a great judge of what's good for it.

[idrawtooslow]

I've expanded the instructions I gave for apologizing into a detailed listicle. I hope it'll be helpful. Some of the points, however, are very specific to the English language.

1. Don't explain what happened, it will sound like you're justifying your actions. And because of the way our brains work, you're likely to actually start justifying your actions. At that point, you're no longer apologizing. Remind yourself that the apology needs to have priority right now, and that there will be time later to identify causes and solutions.

2. Be specific, or at least use more words than "I'm sorry." "Sorry" is used so often as a polite noise, nearly meaningless, that it's difficult to be sincere, or even sound sincere when using it for a formal apology. Again, this ties into what @theconcealedweapon wrote: we're trained to say "sorry" when we don't mean it, so that becomes the core of the word's meaning, without our even realizing it. And if you're Australian, it gets even worse!

Personally, I use "I apologize" or "My apologies," or in dire circumstances, "Please accept my apology." This allows me to break my conditioning and focus on my genuine contrition, as well as making it clear to others that I'm taking the apology seriously.

3. Apologize for what you did, and absolutely NOT how it made someone feel. The latter is often used for manipulation.

Other things not to apologize for:

that the consequences of your actions happened

what you don't like about the person or group you're apologizing to

being right

being better than the people you're apologizing to

allegedly not having any idea what you're supposed to be apologizing for

...you'd think all this would go without saying, but it can be subtler than you might expect, and sometimes we do it without thinking, because we picked it up as children, from the nastier adults around us.

Instead, take a moment to focus on what you did, and how to describe it clearly in a way that accepts your fault and/or responsibility for the situation. Again, don't bring anything else into the apology, lest you make it seem less of an apology. People are so used to hearing the above crap from unrepentant people, that they will not give you the benefit of the doubt.

4. Watch your tone of voice. This is actually two separate points.

First, yet another thing we unconsciously pick up as children is the obviously sarcastic mock apology. It's not always a bad thing, it can be a joke or a verbal gesture, but you have to make sure you don't let that habit find its way into a genuine apology, and ruin it. This is where the bit about "Say it like you mean it" comes from. The easiest way to say it like you mean it is to mean it. See next paragraph.

Second, if you can't be respectful and express regret, you shouldn't be apologizing just yet. You're not ready. Leave the art of convincingly faking an apology to the con artists and cult leaders. You will probably need to just keep your mouth shut for a while. Acknowledge (to yourself) the possibility that you might change your mind later. In some rare cases, it may be possible to tell people, "I'm not ready to apologize just yet," but don't count on it.

5. (optional) If necessary and you can do it honestly, either characterize what you did, or agree with others' characterization of it, or promise to/ask how to not do it again, or multiple of the above. Say that it was wrong or inappropriate or a failure or whatever. Name people who called you out, say they were right, and repeat what they said about what you're apologizing for. If you promise not to do it again, don't pivot to talking about how great you will be in the future, keep it focused on the apology.

This might be a bit too much for less dire apologies, and you may not be able to manage this if you apologize the minute you can bring yourself to be sincere, but otherwise, you can build yourself some credibility by immediately seeking to improve yourself and make sure that YOU never do whatever-it-was again. It's more for privately apologizing to your direct supervisor, or to a friend.

On the other hand, beware of doing this if you're the authority figure, or are apologizing to a large group, because politicians routinely pivot away from making actual apologies by making big promises for the future. People are wise to this, though, and your whole apology is liable to be dismissed as bullshit if you try to use it for self-promotion.

So many people seem completely unaware of what a genuine apology is.

And that's because children are forced to say sorry on command.

Before they ever had a chance to process what they did, why they did it, what effect it had on others, or what they should have done instead, they're expected to say that they're sorry. And they're expected to "say it like you mean it" with no indication of what that even means and with no time to figure out how to phrase it correctly.

Sometimes, even when the child's actions are justified by any logical reasoning, they're expected to apologize because an authority figure demands it.

The goal of saying sorry ends up being solely to avoid punishment. And they phrase the apology in whatever way the authority figure will accept.

The result is an entire society filled with people who give completely useless apologies that appear like they're only trying to avoid punishment.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Most annoying thing is when people depict or draw nightmares tentacles on killer and portray it in a suggestive way

[unnonexistence]

pacific rim did not have to go so hard with the aesthetic but it did. future tech but everything's scuffed and scratched up from constant use. hologram projectors with big clunky buttons and data storage disks that go ka-chunk. standard-issue PPDC everything. big wobbly hazmat suits. analogue nuclear-powered mechs. bioluminescence. monster goop everywhere. cities rebuilt around kaiju bones.

[marzipanilla]

chewing on the corner of the fandom particle board table like a dog w anxiety. there's something up there. I know there's something up there. there are so many people at this table there must be something Up There

lol who knows, but prolly not. I generally have to be at least a little mad at a piece of media in order to want to write fic for it, and I pretty much liked SU/F xD Though that might be a bad habit to have and I could try and break it ??? lol

When Steven finally does have a shitty moment w her bc being travel buddies CAN be straining and she's just like MUAHAHAH FINALLY and Steven just being all what was the point of leaving if you're still here !! what happened to the cave, loner Jasper ?? huh ?? What happened to the damn cave that was supposed to solve all your problems ?? idk how, but he'd have to hit a nerve eventually...

idk how you feel about that one film in particular, but Michael Keaton as the Vulture vibes for sure at that family dinner xD Bowls accidentally sticking to Peter's hands as he tries to help pass things around the table. Him desperate to get his damn web slingers... Nolan just like Why Am I At This Event, bored af. Mark just like Mooo-om you don't have to arrange playdates for me anymore, I'm not five. Peter and I can hang out on our own! Aunt May just all it's lovely to have company : )

lol Nolan like yes my human-sona is doing excellently in the friend department. success. Cecil wondering why the hell a guy known for wanting to unmask a kid vigilante is suddenly hanging out w a top tier hero... on a boat on a lake. what is going on there. JJ and Art just snarking at each other the whole time would be so hilarious. esp since Art would know they're chillin w Omni-Man and JJ doesn't.

You got web on me one(1) time and now I want you dead is a pretty hilarious thing. Debbie just having to be like ??? you don't even talk about villains this much! wtf is going on ! Nolan refusing to admit he basically had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his foot one day. it is also just enough of an excuse for him to justify putting things off again, 'cause you know that man was desperate to stall for time xD Can't take over the planet until this one guy is on lock down ! clearly! totally rational ! it just fuels his obsession bc if he does succeed it means he has to carry on w Everything Else and that's a whole ass can of worms he refuses to think about. he actually has a truly disturbing number of images that show Peter IS Spidey but refuses to use them because he just wants to fuck W spider-man. the plan was to fuck w spiderman. he cant deviate from a plan. clearly. once he wraps up here he'll move on with everything else. promise.

Character decisions affecting the plot rather than external forces my beloved. where did you go. where.

I always figured an 'evil' AU of Debbie (that keeps her human) would be that she's like, a tv personality real estate mogul (making Mark not only a hero nepo baby but a genuine rich boy brat, and Nolan doesn't even bother w a job just hangs out as her kept husband when not acting as Omni-Man lol) - and like, branching off of that just her actually using her career to fund/manage a group of.. individuals.. would be awesome. Bc real estate capital CAN be used for so much ! her 'fighting crime' w real estate is actually something I have come up rather as a side note in two fic (tho one hasn't actually gotten to that point yet) and it's like ! she doesn't need powers to be useful! you can influence the world in many ways ! Which is Amber's whole fucking deal ! it's what Eve decided to do when she quit the main stream hero game ! let more normies in on that shit ! show the importance of the ground level ! No you don't save the damn planet Paul, but you're the reason the planet is interesting and doesn't suck ass !!

like have people point out Powerplex wasn't after justice, he was after retribution! if there aren't any laws in place for when heroes do shit like this, why NOT form a group who gets a stink worked up about that and makes it so there are? How opposed would Cecil be to not being the main authority on who gets punished for what? pretty pissed I think ! or does he twist it to his use? How nervous would heroes be to operate when they are suddenly faced with repercussions for collateral? does Cecil fight against it bc of shit like that, or does he say if you join my List of Approved People I will make you immune to that and end up consolidating a lot of power over a lot of people? How is any of it enforced? Give us a Civil War esque divide that's actually interesting ! Okay Mark, you're obsessed w people who fuck up going to prison- now the people have decided you need to go to prison. what you going to do? (tho I would like to tell mr prison is for criminals that you stole Shapesmith from his peoples' laws against his crime, tho it was a death sentence but that DOES raise another factor- what happens when his magical non-lethal solution gets turned into a lethal one by a court?) how do you justify the cost of keeping a being made of pure energy contained if it takes a cities worth of power to fuel one cell ?? give us fucked up shit like that !!

if it's the GoG on Cecil's pre-appoved list taking you in bc they're immune for staying in line? Your brother sure as shit isn't going to listen to anything these people say. Eve wouldn't want to kill people, but you know she'd be pissed ! How does new yet-to-be-renamed TT fit into all of it ?? If Debbie has resources at her disposal what is she doing about all of this ?? if shes doesn't is she just going for appeals in the court case?? having lawyers and media pick apart her fucking life in order to try and get her son out of this mess? pictures of Mark in the hospital bed after Nolan kicked the shit out of him plastered all over the internet as news stories run w it ??? what if Mark gets released bc yeah, you were trying to help, but his mom gets sentenced for aiding and abetting a terrorist? You figured out what he did and didn't alert anyone ! again what are the spouse testifying against spouse laws like in superhero world... do people pull the fucked up shit like 'he wasn't human and the law as written defines marriage as...' shit ?? do they call his false identity tax fraud and throw those charges at her too?? what are the immigration laws for space aliens in this universe...

alright back to the other point xD

Art being a big contributor and Debbie's connection to him resulting in a lot of ppl stepping in line bc of how important he is would be great! New player but w Old money. she knows a lot about the internal workings of the GDA due to what Nolan told her over the years and what she's seen herself ! she has important information on shit that has been confiscated from assorted villains over the years. She knows who the GDA prioritizes and who they don't! she recognizes their agents on sight !! forget the cameras in her house the last few years, they've apparently been stalking her since she met Nolan if her annoyance w the nanny plants was anything to go by. Was it a game they played while dating ? spot the GDA tail?

Titan being like this is MY city block and Debbie being like hmm : ) but is now MY city and Mark's incredible annoyance that their turf war seems to be about who can clean up the streets the most- who can support their civilians while collecting up the goons to go hit the GDA- promising stability and security for families while just fucking the government approved heroes in the process. Or Debbie trying to start a larger war like that but Titan holding on to loyalty to people who dont WANT to escalate. who is pushed out, who is pushed around- give me the fucked up bits and the beneficial to all the dynamics ! give me 'villains' like the ones we saw robbing the bank getting hired on as defenders / private security to new public works in an area. fuck your criminal record ! we don't care ! give us people who are terrified of the regime change ! who dont like heroes at all and want a non-powered person in charge and get pissed when they find out Debbie employs them ! maybe she doesn't ! maybe it boils into a fucked up divide about that outside her intention !! god have SoS have been an anti-hero group like many people speculated. Have Debbie have MET Scott ! have known him ! have been someone she chatted at meetings w ! have the betrayal come not in one episode while at a bar w a guy who instantly finds out who her husband was, but to someone she's been hanging out w ! whose kid and wife she knows ! who tried to get Debbie to help him build his court case against invincible but she pulled out, and then he finds out she's his mom??? GOD that would have been beautiful.

gah. the wider world politics on Invincible is just so threadbare. you're either one person in a storm whose life has barely any meaning while someone punches someone, or you're a psychotic dictator and there's no inbetween. there's a lot of inbetweens !! I don't think there's any leadership that isn't some form of totalitarianism?? Cecil expects utter loyalty (and is NEVER shown answering to anybody despite arguably being a branch of US government), Titan expects utter loyalty (he just helps swap out dictators for the Order in order to get a favor to be left alone lol), there really isn't enough info on the Coalition but one guy seems to be in charge of all of them at the end of the day, the viltrumites definitely !! the thraxans apparently demand Nolan do that to them !! I just !! there's more than one form of government. Even the hero teams runs off of 'one guy says stuff and we all have to adhere or else' and like !! can we see literally any other dynamic between people ??? show us the pros and cons of both !! no system is unfallable !! no collection of people is without friction !! 'the power has been returned to the people' the robots intone. ELABORATE ON THAT ??

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[karamazovposting]

Considering tattoos became fashionable between European aristocrats in the late 19th century and Tsar Nicholas II himself had a massive dragon tattoo on his right arm (that he got done during a trip in Nagasaki in the early 1890s), it's not completely anachronistic to imagine Dmitri Karamazov as having one or multiple tattoos.

Do whatever you want with this information, I'm just saying.

[wisteria-lodge]

This is an interesting theory, and fun to think about. Where I start running into problems is - okay. The entire last book is structurally a McGuffin plot / fetch quest centered around a super-powerful mythical wand. It always was - Book 7 briefly had the working title "Harry Potter and the Peverell Quest" before becoming "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."

It would have been so easy to slip in a reference to a super-powerful mythical wand as a thing that exists in this universe. And JKR *loves* it when she can make some minor thing introduced in an earlier book really important in an unexpected way later on (the cloak, diary, vanishing cabinet, early intros to the locket horcrux and the diadem horcrux...) She loved throwing in the "is snape a double agent or did he betray dumbledore" and "who is RAB" riddles for fans to debate. People would have gone back and forth on who has this mythical super-powerful wand, how it's going to be involved etc. I think JKR would have loved that. But, nothing. And as a result this Deathly Hallows stuff comes out of nowhere in Book 7, in a way that honestly feels pretty structurally off.

However, I do think this gives us a lot of insight into the way JKR *does* write. She writes self-contained little narratives. She'll come up with an element that needs to be put in place for the single story she's telling right now to make sense... and then, when that story is over, often she doesn't want to deal with that element anymore.

Time-Turners are probably the most obvious example. But like... Lupin transformed once in book 3 and never again. The fact he's a werewolf is not important to - anything really, except being used as an excuse to get him off the page. *He's* not important. Book 2 is a story about a house-elf going rouge... and then house elves aren't mentioned even once in Book 3. When they come up in Book 4 the tone is a little... salty, more mean spirited than usual. The house-elf stuff is easily the weakest part of what is honestly a very strong book. It's as though she's saying - I didn't want to have to focus more on house elves, but here you go. Grawp is a weirdly large part of Book 5 because he features in the climax, then he's no longer important. Book 5 is all about the Ministry making pretty serious inroads at Hogwarts, but then in Book 6 there is absolutely no ministry presence at all.

I also think that JKR very deliberately set out to write a school story, and so keeping Harry at school more or less the whole time was always the intention. JKR also seems to be really dependent on the structure the one-book-per-year thing imposes: each year we start with the Dursleys, Harry gets away, goes to school, there's a new DADA professor who has thematic and plot relevance, etc. Also the seven years thing is established in Book 1, and it makes sense to have Voldemort come back halfway through, so his re-appearance can both justify and mask a fairly big tone shift... which was a masterful marketing move honestly, because she did write a series that grew up with its readers, while something like A Series of Unfortunate Events did not

(and I love A Series of Unfortunate Events. I think it's more cohesive, better written, and honestly more original than HP, but the fact that the kids don't really age and it stays at the same level of young-ness throughout... did hurt its franchise potential.)

Personally I think that the Epilogue was written at the same time as the beginning of Book 4. (I also think this is where the Snape-was-in-love-with-Lily plot was added.) The biggest tell is Percy - the jokes about him talking about broomstick regulations in the Epilogue are extremely similar to the jokes about him talking about cauldron bottom regulations in the beginning of Book 4 - while also being a weird departure from him punching Pius Thickness in the face at the end of Book 7 and saying "Minister, did I mention I'm resigning?" I think there are a LOT of hints that books 1-3 were plotted and written as a set - Sirius Black showing up in the first chapter of Book 1 for instance. Then every book after those three was written in it's own little bubble, which is why Book 6 can be Mackenzie Rowling Murray's "ink and paper twin."

(Perhaps controversial) theories on Harry Potter first drafts/story structure

I've been reading some more old Harry Potter meta (critique) (damn I miss those LiveJournal esque communities) and after some of the theories I've read I'm now 90% sure that Deathly Hallows was actually the third, or maybe even second book that Joanne started writing.

I love deconstruction and I am a writer, so this kind of thing interests me on a personal level as a high-profile reference that a lot of people might be familiar with, even as generally I have strong critiques for Joanne both as a person, and as what I consider to be something of an impostor in the fantasy genre, as a writer who both openly (at the start of her career) disavowed fantasy classics as beneath her, claimed not to be writing fantasy, and in my opinion, heavily plagiarised works of other authors within the genre and then played ignorant when called out on it by people who by that point had less power and industry clout than she did.

This is going to be critical of JKR, so for those not interested in that, maybe don't read on below the cut. It's not my intention to make anyone feel negative about something that's special or sacred to them.

Some members of the LJ community noted that Deathly Hallows (DH) has many, many recurring references and callbacks to the first book, Philosopher's Stone (PS), with certain characters even seeming to regress to those versions of them in terms of their behaviors, motivations, and what they centrally held as important.

After considering it again I've also come to the conclusion that that's one aspect that throws so many readers off DH as a conclusion to the series, a series that has 'grown up with' the reader and consciously shifted from children's lit to YA; and from a series of fantasy holiday movies helmed by Chris Columbus to a fantasy adventure series with gruesome monsters and wands becoming essentially the ranged weapon variant of lightsabers or the conduit for MCU-esque superhero abilities... that in terms of the writing, the morals, and the overarching themes, actually DH goes backward in that regard to the Roald Dahl-inspired simple morality of the first book where violence was cartoonish, monsters were existential rather than grounded, and Harry and friends were essentially young children trying their best to solve a mystery; rather than the adults the world has contextually by now established them to be.

Joanne has boasted that she had written the Epilogue very early on. What if she had in fact written out a lot of DH very early on?

She knew the books were going to cover (at least) seven school years. I think she decided after the first one, she would write (most of) the end of the series, and then if she needed to, she could write more than 5 other books in between.

DH takes place when Harry isn't in school. But nothing about the story means it has to take place when Harry should be in school.

Thematic and character-based parallels-wise, it might have actually made a lot of sense for Harry to be the same age that his parents were when they passed away, in Deathly Hallows, to make the walk through to the forest with his parents' ghosts, back the same age as they were when he first saw them in the Mirror of Erised more of an exact parallel tearjerker.

And a lot of the criticisms that DH faces - "why didn't we see inside Hogwarts during Snape's regime, and what happened to Neville, Luna and Ginny and the rest of the kids in Harry's year?" - would be nixed if this story was never meant to take place in Harry's final school year.

I suspect that what happened at some point during the height of her fame and blowup is that Joanne realised that a) she was so successful already she wouldn't have to write as many books as she had originally planned; especially because b) movies were now also in the works or being released, and the actors would only be believable as teenagers for a certain duration, but this led to c) now she had a smaller total possible number of books in which to fit all of her vague ideas of where the story would end up going and what the big setpieces were planned to be. (Hence the lengths started to balloon)

I might end up writing a part 2 to this because (ironically) I don't want to make this post so long, but as a starting point I would theorize her original outline may have gone something like the following:

Book 1, Harry Potter and the Philsopher's Stone. Establishes our characters and the main setpieces; Harry Potter, Ron-and-Hermione (who essentially function as a two-headed sidekick machine), Snape, Dumbledore, Voldemort, James-and-Lily-Potter

X number of books, as-yet undefined, at least one per school year, but potentially many more, like most contemporaries to her went in to their careers expecting to write, that expand on the young characters' relationships in small ways, with Draco Malfoy, his foil friends to HRH, and his family, as minor antagonists to drag out the series as long as possible - and never intended as more than that, while Dumbledore and Snape bubble away in the background

Harry's final year of school, in which Dumbledore is killed by Snape in front of Harry at the climax of the year, is buried in the school grounds, and Snape ascends to the Headmaster role

Only then at some point, Voldemort is resurrected and takes pride of place as the main villain, pushing Snape down into the secondary villain/antihero role

The final book in which Harry returns to Hogwarts a la Lord of the Rings/The Empire Strikes back, too late to have a confrontation with Snape (a classic tragic beat) and instead has his showdown with Voldemort, finishing his parents' legacy and completing what they themselves could not do.

I genuinely believe that all of the following were late additions to the story that ended up taking on a life of their own with the fandom, that Joanne never planned for, never really anticipated, and - because we know that she is both stubborn to change in general, and sees herself as a visionary above steer or critique - refused to meaningfully update or edit around in the final version of the last book:

Sirius Black existing at all

Remus Lupin existing at all

Peter Pettigrew existing at all

Fudge, Umbridge, and the Ministry-vs-Dumbledore/Harry sideplot - which, knowing that Joanne is a woman of faith, reeks of a 'skeptical nonbelievers vs true Christians of faith' plot

Luna

Everything about the Triwizard Tournament

Everything about the Yule Ball

Everything about the World Cup (I would go as far as proposing these were originally planned as three episodic books that she ended up blending together)

Spotlight Death Eaters like Barty Crouch and Bellatrix Lestrange

The Founders, the Basilisk, and the Sword of Gryffindor

The Horcruxes

Anything about magical creatures, aside from as episodic flavor to provide a one-off background character

International characters like Fleur, Krum and Madame Maxime

Most fight scenes, including everything with the Dept of Mysteries

Grimmauld Place and Kreacher

And perhaps controversially, most of the racist/blood war elements of the conflict in the books. Because, in DH, apart from flavor description of what the Death Eaters etc. are doing...

The conflict described seems, as it did in PS, to be primarily a personal one, with Voldemort's vendetta being against Harry specifically, and as a proxy, Dumbledore's followers, and people who believed in him and his ideals.

And maybe that's why Harry, the character, never seems to end up caring that much about the foundational principles of why they are fighting the war, and who it is actually there to protect, besides his personal connection with Voldemort as his personal nemesis...

Because Joanne never originally wrote it that way. Voldemort dies, and "all was well."

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Last drawing of my summer class, we were only given an hour but I think I made good progress (this was a test of sorts)

This will be the last time I'm studying under this professor, so I'd like to share his art page (I think it's neat to see how his approach to art has influenced my own)

[lorephobic]

this is the funniest thing that sits and rots in my drafts because its been four months atp and i still have not thought of a single headcanon for these two

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[mcybree]

Ok ok ok I'm not Tryna start discourse but bluestars prophecy was my first ever warriors book and bluestar will always be my favourite so I'm gonna make some counterpoints to you about her being a Smajor character

bluestar has always been led by an intense loyalty and dedication to those she loves and cares for - this includes her mum, her sister, her clan, eventually Firepaw when he joins the clan, and she has a VERY strong moral compass when it comes to doing the right thing - when she sees thistleclaw teaching tigerpaw to hurt a then baby scourge she very much discourages it and is against it

Afaik scott is Not like that, he doesn't have an emotional or love-driven moral code, he does things because they're smart decisions in the long term or because he wants to. Granted I havent seen a ton of his stuff but I have seen his limited life and 3rd life perspectives and he is very much a singular team player there, there to look after himself and well if people align with him that's great he's got allies (jimmy and Martyn) but he won't go out of his way to care for them

Bluestars defiance of starclan in the first series is BECAUSE she gave herself to them and what the warrior code demanded so much - yes she broke clan rules by having kids with crookedstar but she did everything in her power to make sure they'd have a happy life and felt terrible that thrushpelt was willing to say they were his to save her reputation. She didn't do it out of a selfish want, she only ever wanted to help her clan and those she loved, and her becoming clan leader is emblematic of that want. When she rejects starclan so wholeheartedly in the first series it's because THINGS KEEP GOING WRONG WHEN SHES TRIED SO HARD TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THAT - starclan has never cared about the sacrifices she made to keep her loved ones and clan safe, she lost her mother, her sister, her kits, her mate, literally everything, and things STILL KEEP GETTING WORSE. it's not a demand that she deserves to have everything good, it's a cry for help that shouldn't something go right after she's tried so hard???

C!Scott isn't like that. He puts himself above others and inherently believes he will get the best if he just plays his cards right, and he is good at it, he's very competent at lasting a long time in life series and getting what he wants - the ruthlessness of gem driven by desperation kills him in secret life, Martyn's complete fucking about face kills him in limited life, and I'm pretty sure it's etho who gets him out in 3rd life by luck. He doesn't plan to look after the ones he cares about, because he cares about himself first and foremost. Yeah you can argue when he doesn't get what he wants he gets annoyed, but his is less of a 'why don't I get this don't I deserve it' and more of a 'oh fuck this didn't work. Ok new plan double down on getting what I want by appeasing to people cos they're easy to read and therefore account for'

I don't doubt Scott would make a bluestar adjacent character if he made a warrior cats oc BUT his character would honestly be closer to darktail or ashfur than bluestar and that's that on that.

(sorry you activated 13 year old me's unskippable cutscene sjdjsjsjja this isnt meant to be a serious argument I just love bluestar a lot and love talking about her)

OKAY 1. this is fucking awesome thank you 2. i am going to do something new and exciting (advocate for scott instead of beating him to death with sticks) because unfortunately this bluestar info has only made me believe she is a smajor character even more.

As a general note when I talk about smajor characters as a collective here I’m referring to characters more in the realm of esmp/traffic/rats/pirates/etc, less vampire scott or necromancer scott who are intended to be villainous.

Scott characters tend to operate under a “If I am not a Good Person I may as well die” rule, and consequently abide by a strict moral code to keep themselves feeling clean. For instance: traffic Scott will never go back on his word, he will avoid dishonesty, and he won’t take from others unless he is sure that he can repay them. He will never betray his seasonal primary ally (even when they betray him first), and will often give people things just because they asked him nicely. He stakes a lot of his own identity on this, because it is through being a “good person” that he justifies his superiority (and, by extension, his own existence); in his mind he deserves the best and *is* the best because he is such a good person. When things don’t go his way, he thinks he doesn’t deserve it because he has been nothing but good, so he tries to place a reason. He often assumes that somebody must “have a vendetta” against him, even if this somebody is the world (see: him asking if limlife episode 1 boogeyman is some kind of joke played on him for not giving in to the boogey curse in Last Life.) which is very Bluestar to me, convinced that her misfortunes are a divine punishment.

This is all to say that Scott does have a strict moral code and deep sense of loyalty. Being a “good person” and devoted partner in the ways he understands it are so ingrained into what he is that I think he definitely has the capacity to be a Bluestar if he were raised being taught clan values, even if his internal systems are often built around never letting gross emotions be fully felt rather than what those emotions compel him to do.

[woomycritiques543]

Helluva Boss and Hazbin’s most toxic fans:

“YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LIKE BAD THINGS!”

*uses this as an excuse to romanticize terrible things such as murder or sexual assault in their stories, shits on trauma victims to defend doing so, and are racist, homophobic, and ableist as all hell*

Regular Fans:

“Helluva Boss is bad, but-“

Helluva Boss and Hazbin’s most toxic fans:

“SO YOU’RE SAYING I CANT ENJOY IT?! YOU CANT LIKE BAD THINGS! IT MUST BE GOOOD! *invent millions of headcannons to make it look a thousand times better than it actually is* I CAN’T LIKE VILLAINS- SO THEY MUST ALWAYS BE EXCUSED OR SUGARCOATED SO THEY “DONT” LOOK LIKE THE VILLAIN! YOU’RE A HATER-”

Regular Fans:

“…. but I still enjoy it, understand that you can like/enjoy a villain character without justifying or romanticizing their actions and that simply liking a villain doesn’t make you a bad person. You are not a “hater/morally bad person” for being negative about anything, and saying otherwise is toxic positivity. Which is a real psychological term for people who take positivity to harmful extremes.”

Helluva Boss and Hazbin’s most toxic fans:

[mars-ipan]

(copy/pasting this last paragraph bc i literally hit the mobile image limit tumblr when i get you:)

also. i think chiaki wants in one day after seeing them. nagito is Immensly upset about this but keeps his composure . because now hajime is his knees and that's fine too.. i hink chiaki's trying to be careful to not dirty but hajimes like "u cant garden right if ure too scared of getting kinda dirty! god made dirt and dirt dont hurt ^o^" (this is also how he justifies eating slightly dirted from dropping food. i mean he is a farmboy i dont doubt he wouldnt od that.) LOLL toodles ^w^

—————————

OKAY. so tumblr hates fun and glitched this ask out so i couldn’t answer it but i do not care i Will Answer It.

@spinecurlingmice (@ing you so u get the notif) i could kiss you on the mouth MWWWAH this is gorgeous and lines up so well with things i already have in mind for priest au. literally everything here fits into the canon i have in mind it’s perfect. i’ve been wanting to do more worldbuilding and such but i get really tired (lots of research…. lots and lots of googling) and you’ve done such an important thing for me by finding incredible plant symbolism. mwwah mwah mwah thank youuuu <333 obsessed with a lot of this but this post is long as hell already so it’s tags time